some mornings

getting out of bed feels as impossible as 

climbing mount everest in shorts and a t-shirt

some mornings you skip breakfast 

because it just doesn’t seem worth it to eat 

some mornings you just feel too broken to be fixed 

so you put down the tape and glue and stop trying 

you’re broken because you deserve it, right?

some mornings you throw in the towel 

before you even yawn

because just the thought of trying to battle through the day 

makes you more tired than you already are 

some mornings your homework is just there

and you can’t find the strength to care, or finish it 

because you’re just. too. tired. 

some mornings you realize just how alone you feel.

you realize just how good you are at a fake smile. 

you realize how much it hurts that nobody can see through it. 

and you can’t help but think,

if they loved me they’d come 

but they won’t.

the mornings are the worst, but then come the things that make your life so miserable in the first place.

like coming to school and getting more homework on top of the 

mountain you already have,

or sitting alone in lunch and realizing 

that you’re so hungry, 

but eating isn’t worth it because you’ll just end up hungry again later.

and that’s your mentality for everything.

why do my homework, i’ll just get more?

why clean my room, it’ll just be messy again?

why get help, you’ll just end up hurting again eventually?

right?

your entire life has been consumed by everything disguised as nothing 

and you hate it, but at the same time, just don’t try and fix it because it doesn’t feel worth it .

it’s the rain, before the flowers,

because how will you know complete joy if you don’t know complete numbness?

how will you know light if you don’t know the dark?

how will you know a full belly if you don’t know hunger?

all of the prettiest flowers need rain, and just because a few of your leaves are wilted,

doesn’t mean you aren’t a flower. 

even wilting flowers hold beauty and grace.