they dove where all medicines end up my friend

pills swam into the palm of your grubby hand

as you conducted a faux swallow

sometimes hurt outhugs numb

dr. bigshot took a pew over the phone

as she rattled off jargon and cant

ya see that’s why the antidepressants and anxiolytics 

didn’t do nothin’

well how do I fix it doc

ya gotta kill the sickness mah friend

kill it good with 100 mg daily

you snatched that pill bottle like there was no tomorrow

a month later and you were dumping remedies

down the drain like nasty candy

         they went to the sewers

a dog was born somewhere and you snared him

he was anxious and you were anxious

and y’all cured each other over the pandemic

sweet flaxen pup of curly pounds

chock-a-block full of yips 

and angled like a torpedo

you didn’t like him at first

then you warmed up to this new fella

then his spine got snapped by two filthy hounds

and you tried not to snivel like your fam

his parched dust found a packaged abode 

on the shelf between the chawan and ceramic turtle

before he became paralysing

and you threw your dog’s ashes to gaia

         they went to the winds

you slept soundly knowing your wardens oversaw you

their half-tang hilts and 5-inch blades

and their chic motific sheaths

you scored them online awhile ago

for a failed cosplay of a double-daggered vagabond

your cherished oc

the knives perched as harmless decor

until your visions started

you cradled your savours in the closet at night

because if those whispers took form

boy howdy were they in for a rude awakening

unfortunately your folks found

their kiddo swiping at darkness

and confiscated your stalwart protectors

         they went to the dumpsters

you don’t go looking for them

because honestly why would you

you’re living life guilt-free (in theory)

with countertops piled high with soluble treatment

with another snapper stealing your suffering flip-flops

with the happy absence of nicking tools

with unblemished thoughts

dude you’re all hooked up on medicines

         so why do they keep disappearing?