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For Abuela
February 16, 2022
If I could say one thing to you, I wouldn’t say I love you.
I wouldn’t say I miss you.
I wouldn’t say that your house is not the same without you.
I wouldn’t ask you for a hug.
I wouldn’t tell you about how I’m doing
Or what I’m doing
Or how I’m feeling
Not because I don’t want to.
Not because I don’t
Love you. Miss you.
Instead I would say
“I’m sorry I couldn’t understand you.”
“Lamento no haber podido entenderte.”
I hope when I die
I get to tell you that.
© Brittany L., Wolfforth, TX
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When I was twelve, my grandmother passed away. We were never as close as we could have been, because she only spoke Spanish and I only spoke English. My mom would help translate, but it wasn’t the same as really getting to know someone. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about her until she started to lose her memory. After she died, I couldn’t get over the fact that I never made an effort to really understand her. I’ve mostly accepted it now, but sometimes I can’t help but dwell on the past.