My Anxiety | Teen Ink

My Anxiety

March 5, 2022
By anyabeatrice GOLD, Encino, California
anyabeatrice GOLD, Encino, California
14 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world." <br /> -Marilyn Monroe


This darkness is surrounding me,

Choking me and fighting me.

Invisible hands ‘round my throat,

Dirty waters, crumbling boat.


Sun descends, the night is open,

Instead of facing, I am coping.

The tears make trails down my face,

A map of rivers, oceans, lakes.


How do I handle my anxiety,

In this disgusting, harsh society.

My lungs can’t take another breath,

If hearts won’t beat; I welcome death.


Shadows lined around my bedroom,

Wonder when it will be my doom.

How much longer till this nightmare,

Falls apart under the sun’s glare?


Yet I wake up in the morning,

Tear-stained pillow, that’s my warning.

Everything feels just the same, 

Face the silence, play the game.


Shaking body, shaking hands,

Random shivers I can’t stand.

Hearing whispers in the hallways,

Paranoia is here always.


I don’t know how to stop these feelings,

I’ve tried crying, laughing, dealing.

The darkness has an iron fist,

I’m done attempting to resist.

 


I told myself to not give in,

My vision blurs, I can not win.

I’ll miss my family, my friends, 

I didn’t know how it would end.


And even though I’m gone for good,

I have escaped the demon Could.

She could have been a little smarter,

She could be more if she worked harder.


And on the steps that lead to death,

I wonder if I should have left.

I miss myself, I miss my life,

I’ll push through happiness and strife.


Oh, what I’d do to live once more,

To shout and cry and walk the shores.

I hate the beach, that much is true,

And yet I miss the waves of blue.


I miss the people, inside jokes,

Books of evil wizards, hoaxes.

I want to feel the pounding rain,

The human flesh of blood and pain.


I miss my family vacations,

We traveled to many locations.

I want to smell the scent of flowers,

Take wonderful, hot evening showers.


I fear I made a great mistake,

Just one more step, I’ll never wake.

I shake my head, I must turn back,

But then my world dissolves to black.



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