Dear Ex-best friend.

You made me hate myself.

You said you knew everything.

What you didn’t know was I was pretending the whole time.

What you didn’t know is that

When you asked me if it was getting bad again

I would tell you yes and move on.

What you didn’t know was my “getting bad” was

the real me.

I got tired of pretending and

you just got a glimpse of what I couldn’t hide.

You drain me of everything I had.

You made me feel like garbage.

Our struggles we shared with each other 

were nothing.

You had to one-up me on everything.

I was only your therapist.

You made these future plans for us but

I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna make it the following year.

I never put myself first because of you.

I told myself that you had it worse

that I was just seeking attention

that the little voice in my head telling me to end it

was normal.

I’m glad I met you 

but I’m grateful that you’re gone and out of my life.