I still wonder what my life would be like if I die 
Would anyone care 
Or just look at my dead body and stare 
I don’t tell people what I think about 
Mostly because all I think about starts with a doubt 
I have lost so much 
Do you ever think about pulling the clutch? 
I try not to cry in front of others 
Even my very own two brothers 
Death is what scares me 
But living in pain might just scare me more 
A brilliant but terrifying eyesore  
My legs shake 
And breath shortens 
The world begins to quake 
Am I out of service? 
My headache worsens every time I cry 
So, I begin to lie 
I cry so much my eyes are weak 
But my brains start to leak 
Not focusing on school 
My knowledge draining in a pool 
I scratch my arm to cancel out the pain 
But the pain is there anyway 
Is there any way to get rid of the pain? 
Or will it just lay there in vain?