I am an absolute perfectionist

Looking at most of the work I produce you would probably think i'm lying

Most of my work is sh*t and clearly rushed

Even now I am having an immense amount of trouble creating this poem as nothing I say feels 

right

Every new word or line or concept I write about is never good enough 

I can always do better I can always be better

But doing everything to my standards is extremely exhausting

Sisyphus pushing the boulder up everytime only for it fall everytime

So a while ago I stopped trying 

I found a method to stop my perfectionism

I started procrastinating everything super heavily

I wouldn't do an assignment until the night before it was due

The time crunch that this put me under gave me an excuse to not be perfect

Sharp metal teeth crashing down cutting through my perfectionism 

I simply didn't have time to do it perfectly

Even now I'm writing this poem a period before its due

I can't count how many times I've started writing it only to delete all of it 

Everytime only because something didn't feel right

Right now i'm debating deleting this one 

Nothing about this is poetic

It's just a story written in broken lines

A precautionary tale written to hopefully prevent someone from making the same mistakes I did

It's just a bunch of disconnected rambles from a 16 year olds ADHD riddled mind

I can't wait to go home

No form no flow no function

But is that necessarily a bad thing

What does a poem have to consist of to be a poem

Well figurative language is probably needed

The essential building blocks of poetry

The bricks used to build grand castles and cathedrals

Everything works together to create some of the most beautiful works of writing

I don't think there's anything else you need for something to be considered a poem

That makes it sound so easy though

As i have found out poetry is rather difficult to write

It's hard to write lengthy works about one topic while not repeating yourself

There are so many things I could talk about but none of it would seem poetic

I could talk about my feelings on the duality of night

How I think it's the most beautiful time of day 

And how much I love staring at the moon and looking at the stars

There are less stars in our galaxy than there are ways to stack a full deck of cards

But it is also the time I feel the most depressed 

Arguably the hardest time of day for me as all of my terrible feelings get hightend to an extreme

Setting their limits about as high as the f*cking moon

Which is to say 238,900 miles

But everytime I talk about one thing for a while my mind completely shifts

It gets harder to focus as my attention continuously wanders from thing to thing

A lonely drifter never wanting to stay in one place

Did you know approximately 0.2% of americans are homeless 

which doesn't seem big but it equates to half a million people

The Collatz Conjecture is one of the coolest math problems i know of

It is rather simple you take a random integer and do one of 2 things with it

If its odd you multiply it by 3 and then add 1 

If it's even you divide it by 2

The conjecture states that all integers will always reach one without fail.

It remains to be proven but every integer they have tested always leads back to the loop of 4 2 1

But thats off topic isn't it

Ultimately the thing I struggle with the most when writing poetry is structure

I don't like confining my writing to fit a certain style

So in most cases I simply don't

However, does that mean my work isn't poetry?

I don't know and don't really want to.