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what if
with every stupid conversation
and meaningless smile
every nerve
in my body
comes
a l i v e
and suddenly
i wonder
what if
we could wish the pain away
and be together
just like the movies say
what if
we could text each other memes at 2 AM
for the next few weeks and forever
to show that we’re not one of them
enduring the pressure together
what if
i could finally recall
what it feels like to be happy
because one smile from you
could fix it all
what if
i can’t stop wishing on every shooting star
even when i stumble over every sentence
and everything is just too bizarre
when i’m losing all my common sense
because
i don’t have enough paper to write down all these questions
i don’t have enough words to express my emotions
i don’t have enough experience to read your true intentions
i don’t have enough confidence to express these notions
because
i’m not like all the other girls
and my anxiety could flood oceans
and this is all hopeless
i’m just trying to unfreeze
trying not to cave into the stress
and what am i wearing, why are they staring
i could list all my flaws with ease
and why do i keep comparing, comparing, comparing
and
why
why
why
can’t i ever be enough for me
but
even if this is all just a dream
a cruel joke from the universe
i’ve fallen too far to wake up
the soft hum of hope,
whispering
guiding
dashing just beyond insecurity’s icy grip
as i fall down this fathomless slope:
because
what if
you felt it too?
what if
what if
what if
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