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I sleep, eye rest
My choice of expression is my medication
I drew the clouds I was under to make silver linings
To let myself know that there is enough lead in the tip
To kill the pain
The war in my pen is just because it kills the oppression I face
I color the sun yellow to remind myself
Looking on the bright side won’t blind me
The inkblots tell me that I am not a psychopath
The evidence is the emotion I expressed on paper
And on paper, I look a mess
I break crayons in half while trying to color
All those times people had snapped at me
Then to distract myself I read the names off of crayons
And I start seeing that colors with the same last name
Don’t always share the same tone of expression
Expressing how it feels to wake up everyday
And wondering whether
My heart is beating on me or is it trying to keep what’s left of me alive
I don’t know much about anatomy
But I know that my organs call my body home
And the organ that beats holds the weight of its dysfunction
My brain thinks that privilege is being able to dream a better life with eyes closed
Whilst sleeping in a warm bed, ignoring the nightmares others see
With their eyes open
Though sometimes my thoughts keep me up at night
Funny cause that got me feeling down lately
So I draw clouds just to create a silver lining
The rain helps me fall asleep
My choice of expression is my medication
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This poem explores the concept of art being used to paint what is not seen on the outside. I wrote this to express what was and has been on my mind whenever I decide to express myself.