If only I had known about the opportunities I couldn’t have taken advantage of. The rocks in my stomach weigh me down like the witches of old being cast into the unfriendly  waters. 

But I was barely a child

I still carry it with me, the knowledge. 

                                                        The knowledge of the beautiful, but
                                                                                                            faded, 

                                                                                                                       opportunities.   

Each one I remember casts another stone into the pit.

      Another leaf into the fire. 

          Another regret. 

Learning about how the best time to buy a house was when I was only like five years old. I was just learning how to write. 

Learning there’s only a little that I can do to help the earth, because climate change is only getting worse and is unlikely to get back to how it was within my lifetime. I was in 5th Grade when I learned that a deadly Hurricane was going directly to my Uncle’s Doorstep in Florida, it destroyed his house. By a miracle he was okay. 

I wish to have experienced the days when the birds sang brightly, instead of only hearing the geese squawk during their bi-yearly migrations. 

Of the days when money had better value, that I could’ve bought a house before I turn 40. 

When making minimum wage could support an entire person, instead of only parts of them. 

            But I barely had lived at these points.
                     I probably wasn’t even a thought at some of these points. 

I don’t think I have the Fear of Missing Out, but rather the Regret of Missing Out. 

If I had any superpower, it would be to time travel. Only to create a life where there is less struggling, less bargaining, less demanding. 

How can I miss something that I have never experienced? Somethings that I can only dream about experiencing within my lifetime.