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Burning Feelings
Feelings are like a flame.
The more wood you put in that flame the more fire there is.
Until you pour water on that fire all the smoke comes out and the burning flame is gone.
Everyday I feel that I add more and more wood but sometimes I spill water.
The ones I love around me filling their lungs with my smoke and hurting who they are.
I didn't mean to say what I said.
Every time I scream and cry and plead.
I fall.
On my knees.
Blood drips down my chin from my sharp and burning words.
I scream and scream and beg and cry but no one, not a soul can hear me until the smoke inflames their lungs.
This flame burns me from the inside out and it uses my tears and my fears as it’s wood.
As this flame burns more and more everyday it gets harder and harder to breathe with the burning flames filling my body and seeping out of my mouth.
Spilling like water.
One day I hope this flame will be blown out by a gust of wind and it won't have to hurt anyone, no smoke no more flame.
But for now I sit in my own burning flame in silence but yet screaming in pain.
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The poem I have written I have found best helps me describe what it feels like to build up all my feelings until I break. I have struggled with mental illness for a while in many different forms and stages. I struggle with depression and I feel I can not go to anyone about my problems because everyone already has their own problems. And when I do eventually say something it’s already too late and I have let too much build up all at once it falls out of my mouth and comes out in the form of anger. I never mean anything I say and I never want anyone to take anything to heart but a lot of people do. I have lost a lot of friends and even some family that has stopped talking to me based on my actions and it just adds more to my piles of problems. I wrote this poem in a structure that feels right like how someone would read it. This poem shows the power of when people are letting their feelings build up until they break like a flame.