Every night I think of you

I beg myself not to

I miss you like the sun misses the flowers

And the way that a mother misses her first baby

I wish that you were here with me, once again

That I am sitting next to you and I am holding you in my arms

But I cannot do that 

I wish that I could tell you how much I love you again

But that is not possible

Everything is different 

I want you to lose your raggedy old collar again

And come running back to the house in the dirt, brown mud

I want you to come running upstairs and lay in my bed

I miss the smell of dog

And the shape of your paw, touching my hand

Your scratches and face kisses

I want to wash my clothes five million times

All I want is you.