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in lieu of
“In lieu of vibrant blue skies and a meadow of flowers, she gets the dark rainy days and saltwater showers. In lieu of the laughter of a child and the taste of sweet tea, she gets the sound of yelling and the smell of coffee. Yet in lieu of an ugly girl with tear-filled eyes, you get a pretty girl with a smile of lies. She picks herself up with her diamond mind and gives you attention, oh so kind. There for you day after day, she does all of this in hopes you stay. Hope breeds eternal misery, but she swallows her feelings to leave them a mystery, but she will speak her mind and leave you to cry. In lieu of talking it out and letting it go, she will turn savage until she finds her way home. When she walks up the steps of a beautiful home, she opens the door to find she is all alone. She silently walks through the valley of death. She walks through it as if she was a threat, a ticking time bomb that just misses her mom. A little girl alone in the world with not a clue of what is really going on.”
-hj
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I wrote this when I was in a rough spot with my mom as well as myself. an old friend of mine encouraged me to use more vocabulary and said she thought "in lieu of" sounded very pretty. i made this not long after. this one kinda felt like a reflection of me from the outside to what it really was. cause you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.