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silence of grief
January 18, 2024
there is a period during grief
where everything feels unreal,
like a terrible, garbled, and evil dream.
that you’ll wake up,
and this whole mess will be over.
at some point,
you push it all to the back of your brain.
telling yourself they’re still here and there’s no pain.
eventually, the pain fades away.
a small ache in your heart.
the silence grows in volume.
until you gain your lucidity
and it floods back again.
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In the summer of 2023, my Lola passed away. It was a rough time for my family and I remember the silence felt in the room when we heard the news. There were many tears, but also a pain-filled silence. At that moment, my brain just didn't want to believe she was gone and there was this inner turmoil- it felt like a nightmare and nothing was real- this is a feeling I dealt with when it comes to grief before, but it was never as painful as this time.