I used to write in my journal

And tell my mom how much I loved her

20 times a day 

Now I barely hug her

And you would have to force me to pick up a pen 

Vulnerability is a scary word 

I used to not know what it meant 

But yet it was so easy for me

Now 

When I'm asked to 

Be 

“Vulnerable” 

I want to 

Curl up into a 

Tiny  

       Tiny 

Ball 

I want to zip my mouth shut so no one can force any words out 

But instead

I sit there

Mute

Not one 

Syllable comes out of my mouth

But thousands 

  run

through

       my head

As i grew up 

I stopped saying i love you so much to my mom 

I stopped writing in my journal so much 

I began to talk about how much  loved 

boys 

I began to pick up my 

phone 

instead of a pen

And i don't think anyone 

Noticed 

Because we grow 

And we mature 

And no one tells us to stop maturing 

And stop growing 

But no one tells us to keep loving 

And keep writing either