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Look at the smallest country
In the name of strangled family politics,
with my mom declaring independence from
a patriarchal kingdom that my uncle rules,
The hatred for my mother was flying at me
Like a missile
attacked at the dawn of another world war
I don’t want you near my son
And my buildings are now flattened to two dimensions
With rambles of buildings and hospitals all over the street
As I drag myself to the demilitarized zone not knowing what to do after the bombings
Sitting at the edge of the bed
Staring at the clock
Hoping my teardrop doesn't fall
I’m not weak
but the moment I see my grandma entering the room
It drops and pours down
Did your uncle do something
She knows immediately
But we both know that the bombings will be left unknown to the rest of the world
I don’t want to further the tensions
I want to go back to peace
Another day an atomic bomb dropped
no warnings
just a night at his kingdom,
once my grandpa’s kingdom,
On the way to leaving,
my grandma next to me
SL*T
the thundering sound rumbles
And again it was sealed between us
– a classified document
that breathes in my nightmares and nightmares only
But I also knew she wasn’t an enemy
Just a queen who lost her power to her son
So I cried to my queen
Forgive him, mom
a 10 year old too young to understand
complexity under the name of family
A family left out of ‘family’ affairs
from ‘family’ portraits
from ‘family’ vacations
No one acknowledged the smallest country
Isolated from world affairs and excluded from decisions
Destroyed the smallest country more than bombing ever could
Years after,
When the war was left abandoned
I secretly crept back to the kingdom
for his kids
And I saw the smallest countries were so small
for the missile, isolation, atomic bomb
For I finally realized
No amount of family politics
Estranged relationships
Should batter the smallest countries
For the smallest country was so small
Look at the smallest country
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Yillin is a senior at Singapore American School.