Do you ever get that feeling?
The feeling where you don't want anyone around, you don't want to talk to anyone?
Yet you so badly want to speak but have no idea what words to say.
Fearing the fact that people won't understand
or the moment you do say something
it's as if you turned on a faucet of syllables and vowels with no way to turn it off.

The mystifying thing is
I have no idea what is wrong.
There is no cataclysmic event going on in my life
but I can hear the pulsing of my thoughts
every minute.
every second.
It feels like someone has installed
a heart rate monitor in my brain
and it's constantly under attack.

There is one difference between the brain attacks
and heart attacks.
When the monitor starts beeping faster and faster
nurses and doctors rush into the room
checking vital signs and doing everything in their nature
to help the victim.
What about us?
The ones with brain attacks?
No one can hear it.
Can anyone see it?
Please send in the nurse
a doctor or someone.
But the moment they try to enter the room
my mind controlling monitor screams
"NO! GET OUT. NO HELP IS NEEDED."
My heart says yes, help me
but this dictator monitor says no, you're fine.

I'm not completely controlled by this monitor.
I still laugh and smile
and have true joy.
But I get tiresome
and my guard is let down.
Then the monitor starts to swell in my brain.
Louder and louder it grows
as my remembrance is awakened
like a bear in hibernation.
I must act fast
for the nazi band is marching closer to my mind.
I can feel their footsteps
through every inch of my body.
where is my guard?
my shield?
my sword?
vision is blurred
and my mind is hazed.
the nazis are now residing in my brain.