The Storm | Teen Ink

The Storm

January 14, 2010
By kressbe BRONZE, Mequon, Wisconsin
kressbe BRONZE, Mequon, Wisconsin
3 articles 0 photos 22 comments

We stood, dripping,
in the mist of the pouring rain.
Her hair clung to her cheeks
as if holding her up.

A single raindrop landed
on her right eyelid.
She blinked, and the water mixed
with her mascara, adding

another stroke to the stripes
flowing from her eyes. She wiped
her face with the backside of her hand,
and I understood watercolors.

She looked up, our eyes met.
A flash of lightning fell beyond time.
The next morning, the sky was dulled,
as if we had used all the color.


The author's comments:
Just a poem inspired by a special moment in my life. It's pretty simple, but I'm proud of it and it means a lot to me.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 7 comments.


on Mar. 3 2010 at 5:06 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

Ugh! I put spacing in the comment I left so you would see what I meant but it didn't show up! The space was in between the line that ends with adding, and the sentence that begins with another. But I guess you probably knew that as you did write the poem. Sorry! Lol!

on Mar. 3 2010 at 5:03 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

An amazing poem. I love the simplicity as Laughternchoclate said. The only thing I would change is you have one sentence being broken by a stanza:

She blinked, and the water mixed

with her mascara,adding

another stroke to the stripes

flowing from her eyes.

I understand you are trying to keep the length the same in your stanzas but try to avoid this. Otherwise a beautiful poem!

on Feb. 20 2010 at 7:23 pm
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
Wow... this was just plain good. It's just that simplicity, you know?? It's like, it's simple, it's clean, and it's good. Keep writing!

on Feb. 20 2010 at 6:35 pm
xhiddeninsomniax SILVER, North Syracuse, New York
7 articles 2 photos 40 comments
This poem was beautiful. I loved it and it had great detail. Keep writing!

on Feb. 19 2010 at 6:06 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Hey thanks for commenting my stuff.

And omg, this is amazing! I love love love it! My favorite part is "and I understood watercolors"

that's so beautiful! Love it! Really!

on Feb. 17 2010 at 8:29 pm
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stupid Is As Stupid Does.&quot; -Forest Gump (;<br /> &quot;No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.&quot;

Thats beautiful, I loved it <3

on Feb. 17 2010 at 5:49 pm
...PensiveGurl... PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
20 articles 0 photos 267 comments

Favorite Quote:
You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we&#039;re doing it- Neil Gaiman.<br /> Who are you to be who you are?-Le&#039;Na Pernell

dude! this is like the best poem ever! it's BEAUTIFUL (capital letters make it more meaningful) i L-O-V-E-R-S IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!