I had a dream.
You were there, arms outstretched
Waiting to embrace me.
I smiled eagerly.
I began to walk, slowly closing the gap
Between the two of us.
Why are you so far away?
Trudging on, my feet begin to ache.
But you smile, encouraging me.
I try to increase my pace-
Wanting, craving nothing but your embrace...
But I've come to a hill, and you're beyond it.
I climb.
My feet stumble over rocks that shouldn't trip me,
And my skin breaks when I fail to keep my balance.
But I get up.
Nothing will stop me from reaching you,
Not even the pain coursing through my legs and feet.
Why do you still seem so far,
When I've just conquered miles?
Maybe delusion is setting in.
But finally, my heart sings out.
You're only feet away.
I can see your face clearly, the smile that touches your eyes.
But your eyes don't seem to see me.
You're looking beyond me,
As if I'm standing where I started.
I frown.
The wind picks up,
And I physically shiver.
And then the journey becomes pointless.
She runs past me, into your arms
Her long golden-blonde hair glistening in the sun.
I had come so far for you...
I had hoped so long for you...
I had struggled so much for you.
I awake from the dream,
Screaming wildly, I gasp through the tears drowning my cold cheeks...
The dream was an old fear, a tearing pain
But it still haunts me daily, like a ghost that won't let go.