When things start to go well,
When life starts to make sense,
When people begin to care (especially boys),
I push away.
I’m not sure afraid is the right word,
But I don’t trust them, I feel safer if I keep them an arm’s length away.
When I let people in, when I start to care,
I become vulnerable.
I feel exposed,
Naked almost.
It is harder to protect yourself when you’re bare,
When you have nothing to cover you up.
So instead I go through life with walls all around,
Barriers to the world of emotion.
Someday,
I hope to tear them down.
Someday,
I will not be afraid to care.