It's funny how hard it is to count
the days when you can't see straight and your fingers are blurry.
And the numbers on the calender swim
like fishes in an ocean that dried up a long time ago.
It's so hard to break the last reminders when they weren't
fully concrete to start with.

The pictures can be cut up, burned, and the ashes
flung somewhere the demons won't creep, but memories last a lifetime.
But the juxtaposition between wants and needs never ceases to surprise.
Because I can need you but not want you.
I can want you but I will never, ever need you.
"Never say never"
says a whisper tickling in the back of my
mind, like an undead wasp that refuses to stop tormenting me.

Thoughts and neurons firing are very different things.
The flow of the blood pumping, and the metaphorical emotions that come
from the heart are opposites of lovely proportions.
And the needs and wants and dreams and wishes and things I
never could have hoped for, will never touch each-other.
So why won't they stop, quit, cease...?