She freaked when she found out I had no skinny jeans.
Stuffing my oversized pants,
into boots that zipped up too tight -
for the snow,
she freaked when I said
“I have no skinny jeans.”

now I have skinny jeans.
Every article of clothing I wear is
much too tight, or
much too low
but all in mind of painting the picture of
the angel that teachers adore
the hint of make up and

dangling earrings.
And you might not think I spend
twenty minutes on my hair,
making it shine, finding the time to
figure out the perfect style
that will only manage to stay a while

I don't do those things anymore.
I get up at 7:00 am
and leave the house at 7:20,
barely have time to brush my teeth,
let alone
do my hair,
and yet my eyes still gleam with
a spark yet unseen

by you.
I don't curl my hair any more
I don't lay awake wishing you would adore
me, to the bottom of my core with
a little smile tucked inside for you

tomorrow.
After three years, its easy to see
there won't come a time where
you will love me and, at the bottom of your heart
leave your fancy meetings and the girls who can
bake much better than I can and can
smile alluringly, much better than I can and can
scale the social ladder much better than I can because
all you ever wanted was to be adored by everyone, and
never will there be a day where
all you ever wanted was

just to be adored by me.

She freaked when she found out I don't have skinny jeans.
I freaked when I found out I don't have normal jeans,
and I rush out the door with my
coffee in my hand and
you're not on my mind but for a brief
second, and then I'm worrying about
lacrosse practice and when I'm going to make up that test
plus I have to return that dress I borrowed from
my best friend who has yet to see
my mornings are a misery because

I wake up at 7:00 am
and leave the house at 7:20
you are one lost hope that I
hope always to forget but
your easy smile hits me every time I see you and
I work to repress your bittersweet goodbyes

goodbye.
But I will remember
ice skating fondly.