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Faster. Faster
March 7, 2010
Headfirst, running.
Hand and hand.
Faster. Faster. We run laughing. Not caring about what lies ahead, but rather whats next to us.
Faster. Faster. Times slows as we run by.
Faster. Faster. We run so fast I lose your hand and run head first into the pit of despair.
Now I watch you running by with another girl. Hand and hand.
Faster. Faster.
© Krystal B., Bloomingdale , IL
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This article has 13 comments.
whatshername GOLD said...
on May. 31 2010 at 10:08 pm
haha thanks...same with me about the guy
burnt-toast said...
on May. 31 2010 at 5:27 pm
very good. very, very good. YOu were wondering if you can write poetry? In my opinion yes - and pretty darn well! reminded me of a specific evening I spent, with a specific guy... but thats another story... :(
whatshername GOLD said...
on May. 31 2010 at 5:15 pm
thank you! i will
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER said...
on May. 31 2010 at 3:44 pm
Wow. Excellent. The only problem I had was the line "pit of despair". I feel like that description sticks out like a sore thumb next to the rest of the poem. Try different wording, to match the theme, the idea youre trying to convey.
Other than that, very good. If you get the chance, read some of my work :)
sunnyhunny PLATINUM said...
on May. 18 2010 at 5:46 pm
wow, I really like this. At first when I saw the title of this poem I thought it would be about track or something, but this is truly a metaphor for so much more. Beatutiful job.
StarlitStranger SILVER said...
on May. 11 2010 at 10:15 am
I know how ya' feel! In track and I love it!
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD said...
on May. 6 2010 at 11:49 pm
Really powerful. :)
whatshername GOLD said...
on Apr. 29 2010 at 7:08 pm
thanx for the compliments!
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on Apr. 23 2010 at 2:59 pm
aw...thats pretty deep. i like it!
anonymous said...
on Apr. 20 2010 at 7:58 pm
a short poem but filled with so much talent. one of my favorites! keep writing
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