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The Words of a Critic

April 20, 2010
By UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
More by this author
UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
23 articles 14 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous then totally boring~~Marlin Monroe

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It needs to be less choppy
you need to make it flow
If everyone dies in the end who is going to know
I realize your life isn't to great
but there is no need to disappear on sight.
I did not like the rhyme
I did not like the attempted woe
because in the end I did laugh
at this amusingly horrific scene.
It needs that extra something,
that is not there today
I hope you understand my laughter now
for I did not mean to make you cry
for in the end I truly did laugh
at this horrific scene
That was formed from words upon my screen

© Sherell B., Philadelphia, PA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.

UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 5:58 pm
UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
23 articles 14 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous then totally boring~~Marlin Monroe

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This is meant to be hypocritical in a sense that yes it will be alittle bit awkward and slightly on the mean side. Because hypocrites hide behind hurtful words.
dianaforfree said...
on May. 19 2010 at 10:24 am
i find this to be awkward. now don't get me wrong, i understand the feel, and it's so true true true, but the words that are used are a bit choppy and it just doesn't flow.  then again; wasn't that your point?
UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM said...
on May. 18 2010 at 8:17 pm
UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
23 articles 14 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous then totally boring~~Marlin Monroe

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Ok yall missed the point its not literally about a critic its figuratively about a relationship read between the lines plz :)
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE said...
on May. 18 2010 at 7:33 pm
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
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hmmm dont get too upset at constructive critism people are there only to help! you are your own worst critic!
sunnyhunny PLATINUM said...
on May. 18 2010 at 5:56 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.&quot;<br /> -Ghandi

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This sounds kind of cruel in a way, but I'm not sure if you mean yourself as a critic or someone else.  Really great, though.  Just change "To" to "too" in the fourth line.  Thanks for the feedback on my work, btw.