I Love Him Forever... | Teen Ink

I Love Him Forever...

May 28, 2010
By JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.


I love him forever...
I love him so much
I love his beautiful blue eyes and his broad shoulders
I love the way he holds me in his arms
He treats me like a diamond he acts that he realy loves me
When he comes around my heart starts to pound harder
When he's not around my day goes black
i love hm forever and forever he will know

The author's comments:
Its about my boy friend,

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This article has 10 comments.


Nikki_G GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 8:21 am
Nikki_G GOLD, Marlborough, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 46 comments
Awww I'm sorry! How did you get it onto the magazine though?!?!

on Jul. 25 2010 at 4:41 pm
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

not any more they took it off someone else got it :(

Nikki_G GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2010 at 10:41 pm
Nikki_G GOLD, Marlborough, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 46 comments

front page of the magazine?!?!

i'll go look!


on Jul. 23 2010 at 11:18 am
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

hey i just posted a new one called unbreakable heart and it was on the front page :) will you check it out please

Nikki_G GOLD said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 3:16 pm
Nikki_G GOLD, Marlborough, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 46 comments
will do! i'm on it :)

on Jul. 8 2010 at 2:46 pm
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

i have gotten more work please see if you like it

on Jun. 21 2010 at 2:09 am
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

thank u for the advice :)

necnec said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 2:55 pm
necnec, Summit, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Malice towards none and charity towards all"

It was good.

Could have definitely added more detail and made it longer.


on Jun. 14 2010 at 1:40 pm
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

thank u for helping me see what i need to improve. and i will definetly let you know when i have more work. :)

Nikki_G GOLD said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 7:22 am
Nikki_G GOLD, Marlborough, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 46 comments

This is very good!

I'd suggest using more grammar throughout your writing though. It provides useful pauses for your readers. As I was reading this, I wasn't sure where to stop reading, or where to continue to let the flow go. This caused me to have to re-read it a bit, which made it slightly confusing and took away from the piece.

Good work! Keep it up! Send me a message when you have some new work up, and I'll come back to comment.

 

:)

-Nikki