every time i close my eyes i can see you and your hollow face your sunken eyes your false hope your white teeth that never smile only grimace i see a light that pours forth from your soul the only thing that makes me wonder about you it swallows me up and… and… and…

every time i listen closely strain to hear your whispers i cannot even see you it is like this on off switch i cannot control when i see you i cannot hear you when i hear you i cannot see you and it hurts hurts hurts that i cannot focus on you in one ear and out the other and… and… and…

your voice is almost a nothing that makes me want to try so hard but i cannot and… and… and…

no more no more no more I CANNOT TAKE THIS MADNESS all the time this breaking and shattering and PAIN you could not believe in because because because it is not POSSIBLE to focus on seeing and hearing at the same time no way to multitask on this situation

and… and… and… i might just stop trying

NO NO NO it will not happen i will keep trying until i achieve it or… i do not know but it will happen i will see and hear you because just one will not allow me to comprehend…