When your heart stopped beating

I lost my rhythm (all rhythm)

I’ve become numb

Bleeding inside

My heart went cold

Impossible,

How you made me whole.

Incomprehensible,

How my world grew cold.



See now I weep,

In front of your tomb,

My future’s doomed,

If tis without you I must live it through.



In front of your grave

I would have given

My life this very instant;

For just a smile,

And a last goodbye.



Oh how I crave to hear your voice

How it brings me solace,

Calms the storms inside me,

Kills the pain.



Your sweet embrace

Made me sane

You were so brave

To have loved me

Or maybe crazy

And fascinated by my ways irrationally bizarre ways



Now I face the urge to see you

To see your well wrapped cranium



Surrendering to impulses

To feel you again

I dig deep within the soils



A Hysterical laughter filled the air

Unaware it was my own

I screamed in to the nothingness,

Replying to the insolent voice

That was my very own.



“Silence demon!

this land is fair.

Silence demon!

And learn to bear

A minute of silence for those who lay

And bare no more the burdens of this life

Silence demons!

My wife lies here,

Ever so near”





Apathy settles in

As I realize now,

I’ve offended myself

With such bruiting matter as a mad man would



I dig in faster, deeper,

Waiting is a pain

I dig in to the soil faster

I reach your coffin



All bloody and muddy

My nails are disconnected

Form my cold twisted and broken fingers



So there again

Behind a closed door

There you are again lying there

Like you've done for so long



So close to you I nearly die

I hear your voice

Screaming in terror

You breathe again??!!??

I dare not answer...

Yet again question my own infallibility…I dare not…





To hell with the pain

I’ll feel when I’ll rip the door

All to see you again

The pain is great

But all worth it

My mind sinks in to wonder

The world is right again

I found your voice

The sun shines again

I’ve made my choice

Rejoiced once more

I am.



No more of this storm

You’ve returned to me

You voice is a symphony

Isolating the madness

Now mending its way in to my heart

Pulsing through my being

Bringing me back to the warm Thumb-Thumbs

Makin my chest feel like a drum



YES! I said it

Despite my appearance

I am a human being

With a broken figure

An arch shaped back

My despicable face

Completely disfigured

Crooked nose (not exactly the one I chose)

Unfair skin

And bald squall

Red and uneven eyes

Who lack of rest....


Yet again in the past you didn’t fear me

And now still

You yearn to be with me

AND now yes now I dare to define myself as a human being



Darkness immerged

Silence set upon me

Your voice is unheard to me

A pause…

Maybe to catch your breath??!!??

I wait fingers still bleeding



“Sing, Sing to me

Once more

Scream let me hear your voice!!!”

I sob through the closed door



Your voice I hear no more

Your coffin door

I pushed right open to find you skeleton

Pest infested

Flesh eating maggots,


Discomposed and broken.



Apathy ,Sandness,joy

All together take a hold of me

Hysteria is where I stand.



Distant voices

Of man and dogs coming my way



My heart lies with you

Insane I might be,

but I couldn’t dare give

away the last few minutes

i'de have with you before im taken away

I’d have with you

Before I’m taken away



So in a quick gesture

A kiss

I lay upon your maggot infested lips

A kiss

That lasted longer then I can tell

A kiss

That shall be but the ending of our tale.



Struck by discuss

I repulsively reject

The maggots, worms feeding on dead tissues,

Making their way,

Into my nearly open mouth.



Now I see more clearly

What the years have done to you



Sudden Rage takes a hold of me

Grabbing a blad

stabbing her countlessly,

Like I did the time before



Joy fills my heart once more.

I hear him again

The demons in my head

“stab her once more

Make sure she's dead!!!”

Said a voice resembling mine

Echoing in my mind



Hysteria is where I stand



I loved her its true

My heart yearn for her

She was all I ever wanted

All I ever needed

But now I m tormented

by the thoughts that I meant be

The thought that I maybe…

The thought that I am

The one who took her soul

Who turned her into mold?



We were meant to be,

how I loved her so dearly.



“But did she love you,

Was her love true??”

This question out of the bleu

the demon concluded.

The demon has grew.

My hand no more

I had control of

So the blade once more

pierced through her heart.



“Make her bleed

take her heart out!!!”

The voice repeated once more

in my head like it did many times before





Hit in the head

I landed in her bed

The coffin in which she laid.

The distant voices

Of man and dogs form before

Finally arrived



Imprisoned

Once more I am

imprisoned

once more till the very end



It’s true what they once said to me

Insanity has consumed me

The voices in my head,

Have misled me.

I am my own enemy

I’m still stuck in insanity.



Blame me if you wish

If I had bewitched

You mind

In to my twisted tale

But just remember this

I am nothing more than a man

A tad bit disabled

A tad much more mentally unstable