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Death's last call
It's barely ten 'o-clock and my emotions have evaporated
into the dry classroom air
I hear you smacking the pink gum around in your mouth,
and I envy you for such strength I will never possess
You speak to me with such worldly poise,
about the new story you wrote that has worried your parents again
When I see you,
I don't see the girl you see,
floating false pounds over the scale
because she'll never be enough
for an athletic mother
But I see a girl of accomplished dreams
My eyes swim through each line of prose;
my stomach clenching with fear for the girl
whose Daddy touches her at night
when he's too drunk to 'give-a-hoot'
and whose friends call her their favorite little whore,
only because she's the only girl they know
who lost her innocence at six-years old
and when I finish, the moment is captured and it's too late
to collect the sullen tears that beg to shower my face
You tell me you're sorry,
as I confess my daily feelings
but I know, you don't know what to say
I can't hear anything besides
the echo of my heart
as it speeds up in rhythm
My adrenaline released a mental camera that day,
etching the memory forever into my porous mind
and now everything I touch turns into a waterfall
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When I look in the mirror I see the girl he molded me to be; a girl who self-destructs to please her predator.
When she looks at the scale she sees the pounds that don't exist; and a girl who self-destructs to please her judgmental mother.