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Swirling Words and Reaching Hands
You reach for my hand;
My thoughts are far away.
Your smile is full of love;
Mine is distracted and forced.
Swirling words fill my head,
Words that will choke me
Upon leaving my mind.
I will stutter and slur
The heavy words
Already filling my mouth.
I imagine your reaction
While I somehow hold it together,
Trying to prepare myself
For the uncertain reaction
And the certain darkness
Lying ahead of us both.
You will argue
Or cry
Or stare stonily ahead.
Your eyes will darken with pain
Or brighten with welling tears
And I… I will be strong,
Because I refuse to feel guilty
For shedding the façade
And telling you the truth,
However impossible it may be.
And maybe,
Just maybe,
If I get the words out right,
You will realize
That you never loved
Me.
You will realize you were reaching
For something beyond your grasp,
Just as I was trying
To extend myself toward you,
So I could meet your fingertips
And your expectations.
You will pull your hand away
And someday reach again
For something more reachable,
Something close enough
That you don’t have to stretch.
I will remain on my shelf,
Waiting,
Waiting,
Until the day I feel a hand
Firmly, comfortably grasp my own.
I put my hand in my pocket
As words begin to part my lips.
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This article has 17 comments.
Yeah but oh well I'm done feeling this way...how are things with yo?
hmmm i'm not sure just because i don't really know him that well. if he's very understanding - which it sounds like he is - then maybe it'd be ok. But i don't know how him reading this would make anything worse. I think you just need to talk to him, have a heart to heart conversation with him whenever you have the time.
Just think to yourself what's the worse than can happen if he reads this and then ask yourself is it worth the risk.
Thanks! I'mma just put it all out there what happened. I wrote this like 2 or maybe 3 weeks ago because I felt like... things with me and Colton weren't working out because we lost the sense of fun in our relationship. We didn't see each other much and I was stressed out a lot of the time... Anyway I submitted it and later that day met him at Whataburger in the parking lot, planning to break up with him.... but he brought flowers :/ So I decided he really cared I should try to work things out. So we stayed together for another week, but last Sunday, I did break up with him. (This got posted the very next day, and the break up did go pretty much exactly like this....)
Hes really heartbroken and things are awkward and we don't really talk even though I wanted to remain friends. When I broke up with him, I asked if he still wanted to go to prom as friends and he said yeah, but changed his mind the other day and said never mind. But yeah.... I just am really stressed and busy and I gotta do whats best for me, what makes me happy, ya know? So thats what I did. :/ I feel bad but I don't......
