tribute to Odysseus | Teen Ink

tribute to Odysseus

March 18, 2011
By Harolz BRONZE, Miami, Florida
Harolz BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Buddha: "Live in joy. In love. Even among those who hate"


O father, O father
Have I enraged you?
For you sent clashing rocks, and Polyphemus
with singing blasts that scorched my figure
and tossed my heart like a cork on boiling water
O father
I long to see your face
but your shadow sifts away as my hand elongates

Why must I suffer?
A life of yearning,
A life of sorrow vested upon me
My life, nothing but a barrel of over-flowing water

An Odyssey,
A journey to seek that
lotus flower in the steep mountain cliff side
of erupting volcanoes,
while the flower erodes in the Muse's winds.

I desired your company, nay!
Through the blindness of our hearts, we've enraged
the father of man and gods
Through the blindness of their hearts,
my life has perished

Shameless, and insolent: the gods
made my suffering worsen.
They lead me through misconducting trials
as the drove an arrow through my bare bosom and lungs
asphyxiating my life away.
The gods, shameless and ignorant.
The gods, forming echelons on my very flesh
they, treated my soul like firewood, to
enforce their strength.
Malicious gods
damned the intolerable runaway.
Ill-treating his corpse,
Malicious gods


The author's comments:
I have been fascinated by mythology ever since I learned about it. This poem spontaneously came to my mind as I read the Odyssey for the fourth time; since it is a very vigorous story that takes place in ancient Greek time, I attempted to give my poem that sort of scorned feeling against the gods that made the man in the story suffer, so this is somewhat an interpretation of the story in my own diction.

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This article has 4 comments.


Harolz BRONZE said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 8:09 pm
Harolz BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Buddha: "Live in joy. In love. Even among those who hate"

Thank you, I appreciate the compliment! But I did however, edit the ending. So I thank you again for the help :D 

on Apr. 28 2011 at 11:30 pm
It didn't need a lot of editing, it was just that I read "Ill-treating his corpse" and I thought "Wow!" and then the last line was simply "Malicious gods" and that just sort of jolted me. But actually, reading back over this, I kinda like it! :D

Harolz BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2011 at 8:38 pm
Harolz BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Buddha: "Live in joy. In love. Even among those who hate"

Thank you, I appreciate the kinds words. I shall attempt to fix the ending, sorry if you felt it needed much editing. 

on Apr. 11 2011 at 6:22 pm
This is very well-written, although the ending kind of feels like it drops off. But you have a very good ear for metre and wording nonetheless! :)