Hope* | Teen Ink

Hope*

March 17, 2011
By BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.


I open my eyes to find more darkness
Hearing nothing besides the sound of my breath
Ceiling and walls encase me
Fear builds up inside me
I thrash around
Hoping that the walls would budge
But they only seem to close in on me more
My heart races as I desperately cry out
Knowing nothing could hear me

My fear turns into hopelessness
I begin to cry
I cry until I run out of tears
Then I calm down
I start to think about the walls
Not as an enemy, but as fact

As I think
Rays of light start to shine
Through the walls
That surrounds me
I start to feel relief
As the light swallowed the darkness
See the outside world
The clouds first with the crisp blue sky behind them.


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This article has 15 comments.


Thorn BRONZE said...
on Oct. 2 2011 at 9:46 pm
Thorn BRONZE, Baltimore, Maryland
1 article 0 photos 100 comments

That was truly gorgeous. The only thing I would suggest is some punctuation to make it flow better.

-Thorn :)


on Sep. 26 2011 at 4:38 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Thank you  

on Sep. 26 2011 at 4:38 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Thanks I really apreciate it. This was my first good piece that i have written i think. It really got me interested in writing.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:48 pm
Regs_the_Shorty GOLD, Frankfort, Illinois
13 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are people who finish what they start and.....

Love it!!!!

on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:30 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

I can really relate to that, and I always enjoy poems that have hope at the end. Nice ending, and well-written!

on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:29 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Thanks and it is the ending to this is the first sentence in my other piece "In a Dream:Befor" which was the first thing I published on here. I was thinking about making them a trilogy and fixing them up but so far I havnt gotten around to it.

on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:14 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

i love how you ended this. I was hoping for a happy ending! haha. good job!

on Aug. 19 2011 at 2:07 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
Agree with the flow, but if you read it a couple of times, you can pick up a unique sort of flow. The writing was beautiful though!

on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:04 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I loved it, but agree with everyone else about the flow being off. If this was one of your earlier poems, you were off to a great start!

on Aug. 18 2011 at 9:31 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

This is one of my earlier poems. The best Ive written is Puck Farm. Thanks everyone for your reviews.

on Aug. 18 2011 at 9:29 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
I really like this poem! I like how you describe your feelings, and just in general, I think it's a beautiful poem. I agree with Little-miss-mistakes that you might want to add some punctuation, but other than that, it's very well written!

on Aug. 18 2011 at 8:26 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 457 comments
This is really good! :)

on Aug. 16 2011 at 9:05 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

beautiful poem i love it i really like the last stanza

on Aug. 15 2011 at 7:12 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~<br /> ~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~<br /> ~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than<br /> a distant memory.~

Although the flow of the poem was choppy , the poem is beautiful. Keep writing!

on Aug. 15 2011 at 4:59 pm
little-miss-mistakes GOLD, Plano, Texas
18 articles 2 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
even after all these years the sun has never said to the earth, you owe me... look at what a love like that can do, it can light up the sky

this is really good!!! i especially like the end stanza and he first one, and the second one..... I like all of them!! One thing, try adding some punctuation, not every line but a little bit would help with the flow