today i feel just fine.
i feel loved and cared for.
it's summer, the sun is shining.
we're out at the beach, knee high in the blue waves i wish
i could call my own.
thoughts go through my head that
maybe this vast ocean was once small; growing with every tear we shed.
i laugh and i think of when you would smile ans say, "look, the sky is crying"
and than go on to tell me how clouds had feelings too.
i was still young, ready to believe that not everything was heartless.
when i turned 12, i thought it was silly, but now in the midst of it all, maybe the sky cries when we do.
i shrug that thought off and my mind keeps wandering.
yet i feel that my worries have all been sealed away, not forgotten, but trapped in the back of my mind.. forever imprisoned as i savor these rare seconds, these moments when we laugh.. i cherish them all knowing that when fall comes you will change.

Autumn is here.
you're crying again, drinking again, and it will only get worse.
theses memories will flood back as winter pours in.

Winter was colder that year.
the wind whipped my face with more aggression than ever, making this feel everlasting.
i know this is only a passing time, and that soon the memories will again fade.. not quite forgotten, but hidden for the time being.

When spring comes around i see you smile more often than usual.
you grab my hand.
we go together care-freely, picking those yellow and white daffodils we like to think of as a symbol of our love.
dads not mentioned, though i can sense you are thinking of him.
you move on and bustle about the garden while
i act clueless, keeping to myself yet remaining close by to hear you sing.
finally, i notice the sky.
it's more blue than usual.
the flowers are so breathtaking;
that i start to believe maybe everything that's happened
can finally be left behind.
spring, representing a new life,
a new beginning, our happiness,
is forever here to stay.