I have no clue
What goes on
In my seemingly
Meaningless life

I try and find
Many ways to tame
The raging fire
Behind my eyes
The anxiety of
My restless body
The blank excitement
That seems to have
No apparent reason
Of being present

So how do I find
My middle ground
How can I calm down
And just be happy

I’ve considered many
Rehabilitation treatments
To my incurable reactions

Smoking
Just the adrenaline
The nicotine
The nerve calming high
But no, i can’t
I love my friends
Too much
I can’t hurt them in that way

Drinking
The feeling of being
Completely detached
From this crazy life
Where I can’t do a thing
Can’t make a difference
Just the known ability
That I can detach
From this cruel world
Tempts me greatly
But again, I can’t
I have too much self pride
And my family says
I have too much potential
To even think of risking it
So, I shall not

Running away
If I could only run away
From all my unknown stress
And hopefully what causes it
I would be fine again
I would be how I used to be
But I can’t
My mom doesn’t need
All the extra stress
She’s done too much
For me, her useless child
And I’m not gonna keep her
In a sleepless coma
Wondering where I am
She doesn’t deserve it

My friends tell me
To talk to others
And make suggestions
Only one sounds good
But the ones too busy
To even remember
That she said that she’d talk
Causing me to be
More and more restless
More and more stress
More and more anxiety

As you may see
I have no solutions
To my incurable reactions
All I can do
Is what I do everyday
Put on a smile, fake some laughs
And try to hide
My pain inside
All I can do
Is hope for a cure
For my incurable reactions

But
What do I do for now?
I have absolutely
No Clue