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Nothing
July 8, 2011
Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder
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This article has 62 comments.
FinalFreak BRONZE said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:22 pm
I love this! It's full of gripping imagery and flows very well. I also like lines 7 and 8, because while they are different from the imagery before and after, it doesn't break the flow and further fleshes out the theme. Very well done! =D
freeflow23 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 7:42 pm
Very well said and powerful. "There is nothing left of you; You are a disorder"
ams98 said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 6:47 pm
this is really well written, it focuses on wat a lot of ppl go through today:) Well done...keep writing:)
SmilyAlly said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 3:31 pm
I really love this! I'm recovering from Bulimia and this just describes it perfectly. It's a huge struggle and at times dissapointing and desperate and everything you put into this. I wish this would be published because I think more people need to learn what ED is really like. Amazing writing. This was beautiful.
Hazel-daisy GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:53 am
i really like this, i think its really well written and its 100% true...5/5 :)
towritelove37 GOLD said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 12:05 pm
This is really good. Different, but good. I really liked it(: Nice flow.
TheHangingGirl BRONZE said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 10:29 pm
I really like it .
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 11:22 am
This is very good! It has a really nice rhythm and flow. Great job! :)
I really like this. I can feel what I could intepret is the speaker's emotions; anger, depression, desperation, and even worry. I really like the metaphor "pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are". You are a good writer, so keep writing! (:
redhairCat PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 20 2011 at 1:43 pm
I really liked the second half of it - it had great descriptions. I especially liked "And what person starves themself of all happiness/ in search of happiness?" I thought that the first part of your poem could have used a more attention getting beginning. You're on the right track, though. I like the way that you handled the message.
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 5:41 pm
"she" was never obese, maybe you mistook "pound by pound" the wrong way? idk, either way, thankyou for feedback! [:
i shall check out some of your work!
LynellePoet SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 4:32 pm
Well, it had a picture of the pain and the way people feel so helpless and low self esteem. The last line. And, i did not understand if her obesity turned into anorexia in the middle there... where it says about frail bones. I thought it was possible it meant that, but probably not. It changed a bit throughout it, which made it better, although this is just a very ugly picture and i don't like it for that reason alone: meaning you did an accurate representation because really, most people would not want to read about someone's horrible disorder, because it is, horrible that is. - Please comment on one of my poems i have a few of them you can chose- thank you.
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 2:16 pm
this is truly great. i too, loved how you showed the part that is is not only the body that is wasting away, but the joy of their life and personality. great job!
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:22 pm
thanks for the advice! [:
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:12 pm
I love it, but I think you should break up most of the lines. Like the fourth line from the bottom. And that one is easy, just break at the commas.
CieraDesiree GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:07 pm
This is sad, but good. I agree with Robyn97=)
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Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.<br /> ~Some random person on the Internet :P