Hi. I am a teenager
And I have a wall.
Everyone, everyone has a wall.
And not just any wall.
It’s a big, heavy wall.
It’s a wall that I cannot break through.

I used to try to
Push my wall.
Push, gasp. Push, gasp. Push, gasp.
Thump!
That was me, sitting down,
My butt on the ground,
My head on the bricks.

One, two, three, Up!
Time to try again.
Push, gasp. Push, gasp! Push, gasp!!
Thump!
That was me, slumping down,
Back to the wall,
My butt hitting the ground.

Deja vu.
This grass between my toes
Feel very familiar.
I think I’ll stay here
For a while.
For an hour,
For a day.
For a year. . .

I should get up.
This wall behind my back cannot
Be what I was made
To rest my head on.
Right. Getting up. Deep breaths!
One, two, three, Up!
Push, gasp.
This wall is harder than I
remember!
Push, gasp.
I think it’s bigger, too!
Push, gasp.
It’s. . . too. . . heavy!

I guess it wasn’t
That hard to lean against.
I guess I’ll just. . .
Yes, yes. It’s hard. But I’m realistic.
Walls are always
Hard.

This is just my burden
To bear.
I wrap my arms around my legs,
Head down.
I won’t cry!
I have calloused skin.
I am not a soft person.

I’m dying.

I look up.
Who is that?
Is that? . . . It’s Jenny.
She’s reaching down.
No, Jenny, I don’t want to
Push that wall.
It won’t move,
And your hands always bleed.


She’s pulling me up anyway.
No, Jenny. No.
I’m happy where I am!

I look down at my shoes.
They are facing the wall.
My palms are against
The brick.
Not again. No!
I am crying.
No.

I look at the ground.
Jenny’s feet are facing the wall.
Jenny’s palms are against the
Bricks.
She is a lunatic.
She is smiling.

She nods her head
Over to my right.
There are more shoes.
There’s Henry, Laura, Jim.
Rose is here too!
I still don’t want to push the wall.
They are counting down.
They are counting on me.
Push, gasp. Push, gasp! Push, gasp!!
Push, Push, Push, PUSH!!


BOOM.