Nature's Vein | Teen Ink

Nature's Vein

July 18, 2011
By dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath


Ugly eight-legged creature,
the colour of nature
I swallow my morose feelings
I'm chained to the still saplings.
I blend in, glad to be invisible,
I am the leaf's heart, untraceable.

Unable to face the cruel soil anymore,
I encase myself, but still flows the gore,
I'm shying away from the world, a coward!
Keeping my sore heart from moving toward
the unknown; I do not want it wounded.
By the cocoon, a product of my fear, I am bounded.

But my betraying fortress, it crumbles
Inviting me to fall down to my troubles
But nature, she comes to my aid,
And into the green I do not fade,
For she gifts me with wings so colourful,
Like the rainbow, I take flight and drink up the world so plentiful.


The author's comments:
I don't really know what inspired me to write this. I was just thinking about butterflies for some reason, and I just wrote this from a psychological point of view.

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This article has 8 comments.


on Sep. 11 2011 at 9:22 am
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath

thanks for the critique! I seriously appreciate it...and yeah, my dad said the same thing about the line you mentioned but I'd already posted this here...the pattern thing you suggest is a really good idea, thanks so much... <3 and yeah, I'll check out your poems. :) keep writing!

on Sep. 5 2011 at 3:21 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.&quot; - Anonymous <br /> <br /> &quot;Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.&quot; - Anonymous

This one is so cool!  I love the differnet point of view.  Only thing I would have to say is, some of your lines (the unknown; I do not want...) I thought broke off or started at odd places.  One suggestion of mine would be, don't be afraid of having relatively short lines and then some long ones, just make sure they flow well.  I like to write with a pattern in my poetry. i.e. Two short, one long, three short, one long, two short, etc.  It gives the poem its own character.  If you want an example, check out the ones on my profile.  I have one pending publishing that would be a perfect example, so if you think of it, check it out in a couple of days. =+)

I really liked this poem though.  Good job!!!  <><


on Aug. 22 2011 at 4:51 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I can do anything!&quot;

I think that a lot of people can relate!

on Aug. 20 2011 at 3:02 pm
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath

thanks, you guys. :) I was gonna make this a story first, but then I thought it's more of a poem.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 1:38 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;ve always been famous. It&#039;s just everybody&#039;s just now finding out.&quot; --Lady Gaga

I couldn't have said it any better! The whole poem is so vivid, isn't it?

Harebelle GOLD said...
on Aug. 16 2011 at 4:08 pm
Harebelle GOLD, Vancouver, Other
14 articles 1 photo 118 comments
I love how you gave the opinion of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, it was very creative. I really like the last line, but all the images are great!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 9:43 am
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath

thanks... :)

on Jul. 20 2011 at 12:45 pm
ThisBeautifulDisaster GOLD, Wall, South Dakota
10 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love Never Fails. &lt;3

Love the imagery. Very well put together :)