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Spectrum MAG

June 10, 2011
By Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
More by this author
Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
49 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;But you see, Meg, just because we don&#039;t understand doesn&#039;t mean that the explanation doesn&#039;t exist.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> - Madeleine L&#039;Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

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There are people watching us.
We don't quite fit here,
decades too young,
dancing with another young woman.
We might as well be under a spotlight.

The music is bronze gold and swirls
like a barrier between us, in our little clear space,
and the watchers' eyes.

Her crinkly dress swirls about her calves,
my slacks and aubergine shirt are clinging just slightly with sweat.
Our feet are just that little half-step out of tune,
off the rhythm but perfectly in sync with each other.
We make a spectacle.

Us, whose fingertips just barely touch.
Nothing more than fingertips on a wrist.
Her fingers in my loose hair, but nowhere else,
the most contact between dark eyes and gestures.

Teeth flash, lips curve,
and we sway close together, until
we press that little bit closer than anyone else on the floor.
There is a faint silver murmur over
the swinging copper trumpets.

I put my head to one side of hers,
nip at her earlobe and tell her,
There are people watching us.
They're jealous.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

Afanen PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 13 2013 at 8:15 pm
Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
49 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;But you see, Meg, just because we don&#039;t understand doesn&#039;t mean that the explanation doesn&#039;t exist.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> - Madeleine L&#039;Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

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Not at all! It's out of my hands now; people can interpret it any way they want. 
SoImAWriterNow BRONZE said...
on Aug. 13 2013 at 9:20 am
SoImAWriterNow BRONZE, Schenectady, New York
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.&quot; -Khaled Hosseini<br /> <br /> and<br /> <br /> &quot;Don&#039;t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don&#039;t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.&quot; Albert Camus

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No problem! I loved this so I had to comment :) Oops. Sorry :*) I feel like I ruined the poem for automatically assuming it was a guy and girl. Still. It's beautiful. ;)
Afanen PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 12 2013 at 11:05 pm
Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
49 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;But you see, Meg, just because we don&#039;t understand doesn&#039;t mean that the explanation doesn&#039;t exist.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> - Madeleine L&#039;Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

View profile
Hey, sorry to be so late replying- I've been out of town for a few weeks.  Thanks so much for the comment; it means a lot that you cared enough to tell me what you liked about it! (Although, it's girl and girl, not girl and boy ;))
SoImAWriterNow BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 2:05 pm
SoImAWriterNow BRONZE, Schenectady, New York
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.&quot; -Khaled Hosseini<br /> <br /> and<br /> <br /> &quot;Don&#039;t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don&#039;t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.&quot; Albert Camus

View profile
The imagery in this poem is so clear. The people watching, the sway of the girl and boy in the poem, the crinkle of her dress, and the slight dampness of his shirt. And it was all just so sweet :) Excellent job!