Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poems | Teen Ink

Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poems MAG

November 14, 2011
By Ariel_Greyse PLATINUM, Hale, Missouri
Ariel_Greyse PLATINUM, Hale, Missouri
32 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If at first you do not succeed...skydiving is not for you."


Shakespeare hates me.
Honestly. He does.
“How artfully thine has twisted
and poisoned,
how skillfully thine has polluted my tongue,
and blistered and boiled with an articulate witch's brew,
what I wielded like an ink-soaked (albeit feminine) sword!”

Yes, Willy, I cuss like I use toothpaste.
Don't hate me.
“I am amused by the sinful way I am a
blossoming muse.
I am no one's back-alley knitting partner –
I am a man!
Who are thee to deny me my craft?
Sweet vermin maid, I left my Anne more than the bed.”

Oh, Bill! Seriously.
I'm a wayward daughter seeking approval.
Love me?
No?
“Ha! Your laughable similarity to Satan,
sweet heavens, save the angels stained by blunt vulgarity!
What is a miss but to be loved and wed?
Anne's sweet tongue got her more than
the bed!”

My words are tributes, minstrel father!
Just one nod over the morning paper.
Don't hate me.
“I love you like I love the one who
burns my chapel,
I beg that you see the way
your day and age has stained my name!
I forgive you, demon of the gates, for
your honesty.
Honestly. Begone with thee and I leave
you the second best bed.”

I'd rather be the guest.



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This article has 2 comments.


on May. 19 2012 at 6:14 pm
Ariel_Greyse PLATINUM, Hale, Missouri
32 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If at first you do not succeed...skydiving is not for you."

Thanks! It was. It was a commentary on how Shakespeare would react to the way his poems are used and understood today.

Deliah GOLD said...
on May. 3 2012 at 11:03 pm
Deliah GOLD, Narnia, Other
10 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I like how when  you were poking fun at Shakespeare and writing as if you were talking to him that was the poem.