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Catch me if you can
November 30, 2011
I’m falling
From my artificial fantasy
To a cold hard reality
Into your hands
And I don’t know
Where I’ll land
So catch me if you can
© Dominique D., Ozone Park, NY
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 15 comments.
RedFeather GOLD said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 7:56 am
Again, your poetry clearly shows your cold and stony perception of reality, but this one tells more that you used to live in a bueatiful world, which was abruptly shattered by some life-changing event that caused you to grow up too quickly. Am I correct, or am I just fooling myself?
readaholic PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 17 2012 at 3:12 pm
OOO...had to read it twice to understand..iiiinteresting...
leafy said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 8:46 pm
Ooh I really like this poem, it packs a lot of meaning into just a few words. There are just a couple nit-picky things that I'm gonna suggest. First, I would make it into one stanza, like lilmartz, I see no reason why to split it. Also, "cold hard" should be "cold, hard." And lastly, this is just a style preference, but I think that it would flow a little better (not to say that the flow is bad) if you uncapitolize (sp?) the lines in the poem that aren't the start of a sentence. Other than that, very nice job. :) 5/5
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 31 2011 at 1:17 pm
I like this, it reminds me of something a friend once said about losing herself so she could find herself.
This is short and sweet and I like it! I don't see a reason for there to be two stanzas, but that's just my opinion. I also think you should use some kind of adjective describing the hands, just to contradict the "cold hard reality." I really like the part about the artificial fantasy. Nicely done :)
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 29 2011 at 1:58 pm
Smoothly written. Your poetry makes me think, and wonder what will come next.
Mothra7687 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 25 2011 at 3:16 pm
Very well written. you paint quite a picture in my mind within the first few words.
8 articles 13 photos 487 comments
Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)<br /> "Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)