I just want to be like her.
I just want to be like them.
I want to act the way they do.
I want to wear the clothes they wear.
I want to talk the way they do.
I want to live the way they do.
I want them to see me as a person, a friend, a student, someone to confide in, someone who can have fun, a human being.
I initiate the lunches, the sleepovers, the dances, the football games and the movies.
I bring up interesting topics, the intriguing conversations and intricate questions.
I study with them, lend them money, buy them presents, give them advice and suggest activities.
I alter myself to fit what they love, their expectations, their needs.
But what do I get out of it?
People I can rely on and trust?
I just want to be normal.
I just want people to like me.
Is that too much to ask?
I try to be funny, be cool, be nice.
I talk about meaningless things and make shallow conversation.
Why can't I just fit in?