Something was different. About me. About you. Right then, and every moment
since you left me, all i could think about was you. I wanted you there. I wanted
Your arms around me, your face close to mine. I wanted your smell. And i knew
I couldnt-shouldnt - have it. That’s what i hated the most. The uncertainty of you.
You kidnapped me, put my life into some other form or shape. I was different, but
I loved you, too. Or i thought i did. None of it made sense. You made me feel so helpless
Where ever i went. I hated you for everything; for making me lose control. I hated you
For all the emotions in my head. For the confusion....for the way i suddenly doubted
Everything. I hated you for turning my life upside down and then smashing it to pieces.
You know, maybe if we'd met as ordinary people, someday, maybe... maybe things would
have been different. Maybe i could have loved you. But what else can i do other than
plead with you like this? Other than write down my story- our story to show that what you did wasn’t
fair, wasn’t right. In a moment, when i am ready, i will put down my pen, and that will be it.
All of this will be finished. A part of me doesn’t want to stop writing. But i need to, for the both
of us. That will be the moment when the lights come back on, when the world starts spinning
again. That will be the moment when i open my eyes and just










Wake up.