I have made myself
Into a machine.
I have done so
Deliberately,
In order to endure,
In order not to feel—
But it has killed my soul.
I have deliberately
Killed my senses—
I have deliberately
Died,
In order to go on
With the outward
Form of living.
I have deliberately
Cut myself off
From emotional attachment—
I have deliberately
Lost my soul—
In order to sleep at night,
In order to be at peace
With the world around me.
I have deliberately
Killed off relationships,
I have deliberately
Harmed those I love—
In order to keep my own
Heart safe,
In order to keep from repeating history.
I have made myself
Into a machine.
I have done so
Deliberately.