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Childhood Memories
January 28, 2012
I vividly recall those days
When childhood ruled my world
Going over to friend’s houses
Climbing on trees; hidden in leaves
Sneaking ripe guavas in our pockets
And then running away; laughing
As the old man comes with a stick
I still smile at sweet remembrance
Of birthday parties and games
Throwing pieces of cakes at birthday child
Before being turned out by the angry mother
I remember the sleep-over nights
Bringing in teddies stealthily
And then calling home late at night
Asking for a forgotten toothbrush
When it was time for bed; and lights off
Each child quivered with fear
Feeling for each other hands
I love to sit back and remember the days
When running after mischievous doings
We used to wonder why grown-ups
Still think we are innocent
© Nikki W., Highland Village, TX
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 14 comments.
Vvvvvv said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 3:48 pm
I think that Vivacious is right and this piece is too broad and unrelatable. You should include specific and smaller details. Besides, dont you want ur audience to relate to ur pieces anyway??? yes!
Thanks for your opinions. Personally, when I flash back, I would rather remember the memories that were more particular to me. As a kid, 8 or 9 years old, I never had an older sister to look up to, and most of my friends neither had one too, so we used to have this feeling of responsibility of being the big person, and it was a feeling we cherished. But at the same time, we shared our naughty moments too: cycling all day long, hanging upside down on the monkey bars, climbing trees, academic competition, soaking each other wet with a hosepipe (happened only once but my friends said it was the BEST thing ever). We were somewhat independent kids, who paved the path of childhood ourselves. So, my memories are something that are not foreign to me. They are something that I can tell my younger siblings, that "when I was your age, I did that! Can you believe it?" Luna557 is right. We write poems for ourselves. That's what this one is. This is the way how I express Myself.
I would respectfully disagree. I feel that adding to many details makes it a laundry list and takes away from the tone, which seems more reflective rather than overly cheery. Also, the point about making the reader flash back brought up an interesting point. Do we write poetry for the pleasure of other, or for the catharsis it brings us?
Rachielol said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 8:10 pm
This is a very nice piece but I think you should include the smaller things about your childhood. I mean, old man with a stick? How do people relate to that? How about breaking crayons when your upset, falling asleep to a parents soothing voice, asking your older sister to paint your nails pink, wishing on stars, eating chocolate or learning to ride a bike with training wheels. You should think of the more miniscule moments that would really make the reader flash back and smile to themselves.
AngelsKiss PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 8:02 am
It reminds me very much of my childhood when things were so much simpler then the complicated life we all live now, 5/5 wonderful please read and comment on some of my poems:)
winieandrea PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 6:51 am
I really love this! It reminds me of my childhood too, nice imagery!
I can relate to this so well (: This is beautiful. It has a simple flow that ties that whole thing together in a really beautiful way (: Let's find a rewind button for life. Yes? Could you check out some of my work and rate/comment? I'd really appreciate it!
TheQueenOfLiberty PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 5:39 pm
lol..i remember those days. almost makes me want to cry. how i wish i could go bac in time and just enjoy how happy i was
