I’m terrified
Of living
Of dying
Of screwing everything up

I don’t know what
Confidence is
It’s been lost to me
For so long

I don’t think
I can handle it
Anymore
My true self
Slips further away
Everyday

I don’t know
If I can ever get back
Everything I have lost
Because I’m just losing more
Each day

I don’t know why
I am so afraid
Of what people say
But their words are like
Knives cutting deep into
My skin
Sinking ever deeper
And stopping my heart

I don’t know why
I put on a disguise
Every time I’m not
Alone
Because when I’m alone
The smiles never come

I don’t know how
To feel any better
When the reality is
I escape into dreams
That take me far from where I am
And where I am with people who
Are too perfect to be real