It has been a rough morning

Castles seem to be appearing here and there

With walls so high

So high that they block out all the disappointments and anger and fear and loneliness

I've learned to love my castles

They protect me,

They love me,

They, are the only things that can


Now, I took a psychology class in high school

Ms. Burke taught us all about defense mechanisms

I know that the walls around my heart and mind will probably destroy me one day

I still build them

Fairies and magical things keep me in my place

So do basement punishments

Solidarity helps though

Then only you can hurt yourself

Life becomes this never ending cycle of disappointment and bricks

Never stopping

Never slowing down

Just commission another wall

It will only take a few moments to build

Then you’re at peace.


So yes, It has been a rough morning

Rougher than most

No, the words were all the same

And the decibel level was still just as high

But I realized something

If you fold a piece of newspaper in half 90 times

You can make it all the way to the moon and back

how many bricks would it take to go the same distance

I fear that I have exceeded that amount a while ago

and if that’s true

I may have already lost the fight


there’s this boy…

I don’t know if he knows he's breaking down my walls

I hope he doesn't

I realized this morning

I don’t think he can do it

When I'm home the walls multiply exponentially

Piling up and up and up

Creating a vacuum sealed protection around my soul

I fear he won’t catch up to me

I fear he doesn’t want to

I fear I will lose the only one keeping my hopes higher than my walls

I fear

I will lose the prince charming I do not even have