It’s one of those restless nights, when there is homework that I need to be doing, a room to be cleaned, and unspoken words on my lips.

Words that died before they were born into sound, forgotten but always there, in between smiles and laughs, never really coming into being.

As though I have so much to say but of nothing, nothing at all, nothing worth talking about.

As if so much thought is there, ready to be revealed through speech, but hiding somewhere in mind, obscure, indifferent.

When I can’t focus, because something is tugging at the last remains of my soul, something urgent, something unnameable, something terrible.

When I see without seeing, listen without hearing, speak without communicating.

When I am trapped by the snares of my mind, leaving me vulnerable, helpless, and silent.

When walls surround me, towering far above my head, unyielding and unfriendly, faces dark and cold.

Breezes chilling not refreshing, cutting through the last wisp of feeling, until there is nothing left.

My body disconnected, mind wandering, movements erratic and unplanned.

This is one of those nights.