All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
'Twas the Night Before Christmas: a Modern-Day Parody
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the mall
Thousands of shoppers roamed the wide halls
The stores had their sales out in full force
From blazers to IPads to a toy rocking horse
The people were testing the Sleep-Number beds
While the dread of wrapping paper danced in their heads
Choosing two colors provoked quite some talking
Among all the shoppers, hastily walking
When out from the food court arose such a clatter
I rushed with my bags to see what was the matter
A struggling woman, her coat was a puffer
With Subway gift cards to be used as stocking stuffers
The moon shone through the glass-paneled ceiling
I was filled with a somewhat worried-type feeling
The mall closed in less than a very short hour
And all I had was a poinsettia flower
“Now Abercrombie for Sally,
Gamestop for Billy
Ann Taylor for the wife
She needs a coat, it’s quite chilly.”
I turned to the voice that had startled me so
And what to my eyes, a few inches below
A jolly old man with a snowy-white beard
An ancient red sweater with tiny reindeer
And he pulled out from what seemed like thin air
A silver CHI straightener for Sally’s blonde hair
For Billy, the newest Super Mario game
A bracelet engraved with my wife’s name
It was then I noticed the twinkle in his eye
The grin on his mouth, oh how so sly
It popped in my mind and it popped all too quick
The jolly old man must be Saint Nick
“There’s a gift wrapping kiosk on level three
Ask for the girl who’s named Tiffany
She does the best bows in all of the mall
From the voluptuously big to the smallest of small.”
In all my shock, I could only nod
To the man standing next to me – so different! So odd!
I took the gifts and thanked him with praise
And stumbled away, mind clouded and dazed
But as he moved through the lumbering crowd
He pulled over his head, a crimson red shroud
And I just might have lost him, I think I had blinked
The man disappeared as quick as a wink!
I ran after him, but to no avail
The jolly old man hadn’t left so much as a trail
Arms filled with bags, I went to level three
Already waiting was the girl Tiffany
On my way home, in the cold snowy night
Driving away from the mall’s glowing lights
I looked through the sunroof, and what did I see
But a sleigh in the sky, the driver smiling at me
Sally was thrilled, and so was young Billy
The bracelet made my wife oh-so-giddy
We watched “Rudolph” on the new HDTV
With piles of wrapping paper under the tree
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 1 comment.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.