Laying in the green grass we were.
Your heated arms around me, an absorbing shield.
Thinking we could last forever was foolish.
I am unsure I could have been any more callow.
But looking at the sun setting I wasn't thinking of the future.
Wasn't thinking of losing you.
I didn't think how we never had candlelit dinners.
We didn't need that to know we loved each other.
I didn't think about how different we were.
Not until after you were gone.
Then I contemplated my insignificance.
When the sun had set and you left I thought.
Reality began to soak into my brain and I shuddered.
Thinking back to people leaving I wept.
Yet I still stayed with you.
Even after the thoughts I still ignored reality.
Letting myself fall, I fell past the horizon.
Falling in love meant losing everything.
My risk meant losing everything.
Falling past the horizon with no more sun.
No more light surrounds my world.
Darkness and thoughts of loneliness are what I gained.
I gained these when I gave you up.
Once I felt fear and excluded you I went hollow.
No longer can we lay in that grass.
No longer do I feel your arms around me.
No more watching sunsets with you or by myself.
All I have are memories.
Memories and loneliness.
My thoughts festering always.