The path | Teen Ink

The path

April 13, 2013
By -Hopeless- GOLD, Hudson, Indiana
-Hopeless- GOLD, Hudson, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The lines that have no rhyme, are the ones that mean the most&quot; -Me-<br /> <br /> &quot;Are you with me, or will you fall to your knees?&quot; - We came as romans-


A road,
Long and narrow.
A small light is all that showed.
The only thing heard is the song of a sparrow.
I feel the gravel beneath my feet,
I wish a better path was shown,
I can't believe I accepted defeat,
Now I walk this road alone.
Nothing but the company of a bird,
I walk as I cry and scream,
My voice cannot be heard,
Is the road just a dream?
I can feel reality slip away,
My mind fuzzy, my body weak.
My heart has went a stray,
Answers are now what I seek.
-Hopeless-



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This article has 2 comments.


on Apr. 17 2013 at 3:45 pm
-Hopeless- GOLD, Hudson, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The lines that have no rhyme, are the ones that mean the most&quot; -Me-<br /> <br /> &quot;Are you with me, or will you fall to your knees?&quot; - We came as romans-

Omg your comments just make my day, thank you soo  soo much! I am glad you love my writing so much! It means a lot that you are taking the time to read my work, thank you, thank you, thank you (:

on Apr. 16 2013 at 6:05 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

I love this! I thought that the set-up was very unique and easy to follow. I like the title because it sets up suspense for the reader, you don't know what route the poem is going to go, you get an idea, but not the whole concept. I loved the fourth line, it was sad but made me feel calm. I like how you put that you wished a better path would be shown, that's life isn't it? It's foggy and you wish it were more clear. That moment of dissapoinment in yourself when you say you've accepted defeat, I felt the emotion really well. I love the ending.. so mysterious! GREAT job!