I feel so many things lately, Im numb...
I feel small, fragile, empty, pain, cold... mostly cold...
I feel like I'm hovering over my own body, like watching a chicken run around with its head cut off, literally stumbling through a day, let alone life...
I feel alone, even in a room full of people... like they don't exist... but they do, oh they do.
I want to wish it all away, or just take ?the easy way out... but I can't even do that because I'm too scared.
I wondered if I jumped off a bridge, would anyone care... but then I thought about how much traffic I would cause...
I wondered if I overdosed on pills would anyone care... but then I thought about when someone else would need them, they wouldn't be there... I wouldn't be there.
That's what I really thought about...
Why am I here??
Seems only thing I've done so far is screw up...
Is that what I'm here for?
To screw things up...
I don't want to screw up anymore.
I want to do something when I get out there, out there bubble....
But then I don't...
For so many reasons...
I'm lazy.
I don't know what I'm doing, ever.
I'm always confused about stuff that is supposed to matter.
Im scared.
I'm freaking scared.
That seems to be my excuse for everything.
But then I ask why?
Why put myself, of sound, mind, and body, out there... without something to fight for...
Someone to fight for...
Someone to fight with...
Someone.
Anyone...
That's all I ask for... not a million dollars, not new shoes, and not a freaking bunch of friends I won't ever talk to...
Just somebody I can be proud to call mine.